My New Life

A new life that I didn't want. You never know how good your life is until something bad happens. Then you just want to go back in time and start over. I am one of those people. We had it so good. Finding the ONE, a perfect wedding, buying our first house, blessed with two wonderful boys. Yet we were chosen to go down this new path in life. Why? I have always believed that God wouldn't give us anything we couldn't handle. Yet why would God let such terrible things happen to good people?
Part of my new life is telling people about what happened to Logan. Our first experience was telling our beloved pediatrician. We went to see her to get guidance the very next day. She was so sweet and patient to us. For that we were so grateful. During this time we were getting a lot of calls from CPS and the police as they were now involved. We spent a lot of time in the pediatrician office that morning.
Kathy was now admitted into the hospital and had confessed to employees. They then contacted the police and a full investigation was in the process.
As the days went on we had to tell a lot of people what happened. Explaining things, even though we didn't know many details made it feel so real. Was this really happening? When was I going to wake up from this nightmare?
The most surreal moment was sitting in the office downtown for Logan's taped interview with his social worker and investigators. We couldn't be in the room with him and I felt horrible that Logan had to go through that.
Nothing much came of the interview because it was so hard to understand him. But he did tell them how much he loved his Mommy and Daddy. I think the poor guy thought he was being questioned in regards to us.
I still feel ashamed when I tell people what happened to Logan. I know deep down that none of this was my fault but I still feel it. I see that glimpse of thought in someones eye that says Why did you put your son in harms way? How could you not know?